Working Yourself to Death? Here's How I Found a Better Way
As I was reflecting on this topic of busyness and the fatal consequences of working too hard, tears welled up in my eyes. I've traveled a long and winding road, one that nearly led me to work myself to death. But today, I'm here to share a different path - one of fulfillment, joy, and true abundance. And in this article, I’ll be sharing my very personal and honest experiences with success, burnout, and finding a better way to thrive in both business and life.
My Wake-Up Call
Let me take you back to 2016. I was in the throes of launching my beauty business, burning the candle at both ends. My days started before dawn, frantically posting on social media. I worked through lunch, into the evening, and late into the night. Sleep? That was a luxury I couldn't afford. Or so I thought.
This grueling schedule wasn't happening in a vacuum. I was simultaneously grieving my father's recent passing - a man who I believe worked himself to death. My mother was also struggling with severe mental health issues. Looking back, it's no wonder I crashed and burned within a year and a half.
It was during this dark time that I had an epiphany: I was either going to die doing this work or find a way to truly live and sustain myself. This moment marked the beginning of what I now call my "real education."
Here's the kicker - I had all the prestigious degrees. Harvard Business School, Harvard Kennedy School, McCombs School of Business, Plan II Honors from the University of Texas at Austin. On paper, I was the picture of success.
In reality?
I was barely hanging on by my early 30s, just a few years out of graduate school.
My drive came from a place of fear and lack. I was desperate to prove myself, make more money, and grace the covers of magazines like my peers. And while the pursuit of accomplishments and recognition is valid, I now realize I was going about it all wrong.
Everything changed when I shifted my energy. I began to approach my goals with a deep knowing that success was already happening for me. I stopped the frantic "efforting" and learned to trust that I was on the right path.
This shift didn't happen overnight. It required confronting my extreme self-doubt, anxiety, and FOMO (fear of missing out). These negative emotions had been holding me back from realizing my full potential. By addressing them head-on, I opened the door to a new way of being.
A Painful Legacy & Generational Pattern
My journey to this realization was deeply personal, rooted in the unexpected passing of my father. He had always told me, "I want you to find me slumped over my desk." At the time, I thought it was a noble sentiment - the idea of working until your last breath. Now, I see it differently.
My dad's death certificate listed five causes. Five. He had dealt with multiple physical ailments but refused to change his habits or truly recover. It was always "get the surgery and get right back to work." Same foods, same routines, same relentless drive.
Watching this unfold was agonizing. Even as he lay on his deathbed, I desperately tried to save him. I held his hand, attempting to channel the healing energy I was just beginning to explore. But it was too late.
Recently, I was reminded of this painful pattern when Representative Sheila Jackson Lee passed away. She was a prominent figure in the Houston community and beyond - a vibrant, seasoned woman who seemed to work tirelessly. I never saw her take a real break. She was at every event, every community walk, juggling local commitments with her national responsibilities.
It struck me how similar her work ethic was to my father's. And while I understand the desire to remain engaged and active throughout life, I now question the wisdom of pushing ourselves to the brink of exhaustion.
Redefining Wealth and Success
My experiences with my father and mother taught me a crucial lesson: I refuse to work so hard that I miss opportunities with my child and family. I won't sacrifice my well-being for the sake of making money or building what society narrowly defines as "wealth."
You see, true wealth goes far beyond bank accounts, magazine covers, or TV interviews. Those are just snippets of what one can achieve. As I've expanded my view of success, I've discovered levels of happiness, joy, and pleasure I never knew were possible.
I'm living proof that there's a better way. We don't have to work ourselves to death. Instead, we can choose a higher path - one that leads to genuine abundance and fulfillment.
Now, I know "abundance" and "manifesting your dreams" are trendy topics these days. You'll find countless gurus preaching about it on every platform.
But how many of these public figures are actually walking the talk?
I'm here to share practical tools that have transformed my life and can do the same for you. It starts with something deceptively simple: taking time to stop and be with yourself.
I know, I know. If you're a parent (especially a mother), this might sound impossible. Our children always seem to need us. And we often feel guilty taking time for ourselves. But remember this: you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Filling Your Cup (The Right Way)
People love to throw around the phrase "fill your cup," but how many of us actually know how to do it? Do you even know what kind of "cup" you have? What are you filling it with? Is it nourishing, filtered water or murky, contaminated sludge?
Being aware that you're not nurturing yourself is the first step. Many people are so caught up in the hustle that they don't even realize they're neglecting their own needs. They mistake the "cha-ching" of money in their bank account for true self-care.
Self-care looks different for everyone. For me, it's indulging in a spa day or taking a sea salt bath at home. It's allowing myself a nap or going for an hour-long walk outside. If you're a parent, maybe it means setting the kids up with an iPad for an hour so you can reconnect with yourself. Yes, I know screen time is a contentious topic, but your well-being is paramount.
The goal is to tune in to what's happening inside you before you reach a breaking point. My father ignored the warning signs - two heart attacks, severe diabetes, dialysis. His body and mind were screaming for him to slow down, to rest, to nourish himself, to release his anger in healthy ways. But he didn't have the awareness or tools to listen.
Seeing his struggle has made me determined to do better. I choose longevity. I refuse to work myself to death. I've stopped everything before - multiple times - to ensure my foundation is solid and my infrastructure is sound.
The 3-N Process
To truly care for yourself, I recommend a three-step process: noticing, naming, and nurturing.
1. Noticing: This is about developing awareness. Are you taking care of yourself? Do you feel constantly rushed or stressed? Are you comparing yourself to others and feeling inadequate? Simply recognizing these patterns is a huge first step.
2. Naming: Once you've noticed what's going on, put a name to it. Are you feeling jealous of your peers' success? Anxious about falling behind? Resentful of demands on your time? Don't judge these emotions - just identify them.
3. Nurturing: This is where you take action to address what you've noticed and named. It might be as simple as allowing yourself to enjoy a chocolate chip cookie without guilt. Or it could involve bigger changes like restructuring your workday to include breaks.
Remember, this is a cycle. You'll go through it multiple times a day, every day. As you practice, you'll get better at recognizing your needs and meeting them in healthy ways.
Accepting Where You Are
One of the hardest parts of this process is accepting your current reality. Trust me, I know. When I found myself hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt, living in my childhood bedroom with a baby on the way, my father gone and my mother struggling - I did not want to accept that reality.
But here's the truth: You are where you are. You be where you be. Accepting your current situation doesn't mean you're giving up or that things won't change. It simply means you're acknowledging reality so you can move forward.
Once I accepted where I was, I could create a vision for where I wanted to go. That's why the vision and values work we do in the MetaBusiness World is so critical. You need to be able to see where you want to go - even if that vision evolves over time.
Working Towards Joy, Not Death
I'm not working towards death anymore. I'm working towards fulfillment, joy, happiness, pleasure, fun, and love. I'm working to play.
Have you ever thought about "working to play"?
That's my new goal. This very moment, sharing these thoughts with you, is playful and fulfilling for me. I'm tapping into my higher self, connecting to Source and the universe, speaking my truth with love and compassion. It's a gift - and you have the ability to cultivate your own gifts too.
As I share this message, I've gotten emotional. And that's beautiful. I want to demonstrate for all of you that it's okay to be emotional. It's okay to shed a tear, especially when it comes from a real place.
We don't break down when we cry - we release. We let go of what no longer serves us to make room for higher energies that empower us.
When you name your emotions, remember: they're yours, but they're not you. This is a crucial distinction I learned in Tai Chi. You're not angry - you have angry feelings. You're not jealous - you have jealous feelings. Your feelings come and go as a part of you, but they are not you.
This separation allows you to acknowledge your emotions without being consumed by them. It creates space for you to nurture these feelings and raise your energetic frequency, leading to higher levels of joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment.
Nurturing Your Inner Child
When you nurture yourself, you're essentially parenting your inner child. That little girl or boy inside you who didn't get what they needed at some point in life and is still acting out. We often try to ignore or silence this part of ourselves, but the energy always comes through.
I've noticed this in everyday interactions. For example, one day I wasn’t in the best mood during a trip, and suddenly the flight attendant seemed rude to me. Our energy and inner reality affects how the world responds to us. Children, on the other hand, put in a similar situation on a plane often receive preferential treatment because, at their core, they radiate joy and love.
In many ways, we should strive to maintain that childlike energy - bursting with love, optimism, and authenticity. This doesn't mean being immature or irresponsible. It means cultivating a genuine, healed sense of joy and wonder.
A New Generation, A New Way
As I reflect on the recent loss of Representative Sheila Jackson Lee, I'm reminded of the generational differences in how we approach work and life. While we have much to learn from her dedication and impact, we don't have to follow the same grueling path.
We can choose to have long, fulfilling lives where we contribute to our world with joy. We can experience pleasure and purpose well into our 70s, 80s, and beyond. This is the kind of work I'm passionate about as a metaphysical wealth advisor.
My Offerings: A Path to Holistic Success
I support leaders and organizations in realizing these leading-edge ideas for themselves and their companies. My goal is to help you make more money and build bigger businesses, but with ease - without burning out yourself or your team.
I offer three main services:
1. MetaBusiness VIP Day: This is a one-day intensive where I lead an energy activation with you and your team; potentially looks like a speaking engagement and/or team building activities.
2. MetaStrategy: This involves deeper engagement with leadership teams to craft a vision and values for your organization, along with a sound strategy for accountability.
3. MetaCoaching: This is a one-on-one, uniquely curated program and the foundation of all my services, providing regular support and guidance as you grow.
A Final Thought
As we wrap up, I want to leave you with this: You don't have to work yourself to death to be successful. There's a better way - a path of joy, fulfillment, and true abundance. It starts with caring for yourself, understanding your emotions, and nurturing your inner child.
Remember, you're exactly where you need to be right now. Accept it, envision where you want to go, and take gentle steps forward. You have gifts to share with the world, and you deserve to do so from a place of wholeness and joy.
Thank you for joining me on this deeply personal exploration. If this resonates with you, I invite you to connect with me further. Visit my website at www.erinpatten.com for more information about my services, or follow me on social media @iamerinpatten.
And if you’re interested in working with me now, book a MetaClarity call with me to get started!
Erin Patten is a metaphysical master in a millennial age. She is a highly sought-after master advisor to corporate executives, startup founders and their respective organizations. She founded the MetaBusiness World to guide magnetic leaders in extinguishing organizational dis-ease by working through emotional and spiritual roots of conflict to find balance.